Monday, April 27, 2009

Ideas: Adventure Packs

Here’s a new idea: Adventure Packs

Have you ever found yourself meandering around and all of a sudden, a potential adventure presents itself but you just aren’t prepared for it? Boy Scouts have obviously encountered this problem and came up with the simple solution, “Be prepared.” But, how does that translate to everyday life? No big deal, just wear an ADVENTURE PACK!
An adventure pack is a fanny pack filled with essential adventure items. If you wear it around all the time, you’re always prepared for an adventure! Here's some essential items for any adventure you may encounter.

Pack of gum
Bouncy balls
Grilled Cheese Sandwich
A Wizard
Lincoln Logs
Dinosaur fossil
Lava lamp
A pack of dogs
A box of balloons
Glow in the dark crucifix (to light the way)
Immanuel Kant
Toy light saber
Photo book of your favorite animals
Tape recorder
The Golden Compass
Duck whistle
Bear trap
Board games
Tom Hanks
Pogs and a slammer
Creepy crawler baker oven
King Tut
Cool Runnings DVD
Fixed gear bike
Snow cone
Funny man glasses with fake mustache
Tour guide
The force
Easy bake oven
The Holy Spirit
Shark Week on the discovery channel
Rope ladder
X-Ray machine
Pitch pipe
A kite
Dark matter
The Beach Boys
A swing-set
Conversational skills
Shark attacks
Emergency amputations
Shotgun weddings
The DaVinci Code

Sunday, April 26, 2009


Here’s a new idea: CAPS LOCK


Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Ideas: Clowning around.

Here’s a new idea: Clowning around.

We like to do it and so should you. Why take life so seriously when you can live a much happier life when you take life not so seriously? Good question. We tried it out a couple of times, and we slowly realized that this principle works even better the less serious you take everything, and pretty soon we found ourselves clowning around all the time. And guess, what? It’s great! Work goes from something to dread to being a pillow fight or a game of charades! School goes from being boring and expensive to being a great time to play tag! Sports aren’t just about training and competing but about giggling and joking! Money isn’t something to worry about, its something to make paper airplanes and origami out of! Conversations aren’t about getting to know the other person, they’re about telling knock-knock jokes, making funny voices, and laughing! Getting dressed in the morning isn’t a daily task, it’s a way to sport that new hot pink tank top, those new light up shoes, that animal sweater, and a smile! Not only does it bring joy to your day, it brings joy to everyone around you. One time, we were clowning around in the store, and a woman came up to us and said, “Hey, are you guys ok?” That sure brought joy to her day!

Clowning around opens up so many new possibilities to have fun, we can’t even make a list big enough. But, here are a few ideas to help you get started.
1. Make up new words.
2. Ride bikes.
3. Pretend
4. Try to get around without walking. (try rolling, kneeling, piggy-backing, or other creative ideas)
5. Camp out in your living room with a tent.
6. Play games all the time.
7. Act like your favorite animal.
8. Goof around.
9. Talk in funny voices.
10. Sing oldies.
11. Wear bright colors and animal themed outfits.
12. Only read the cartoons in the newspaper.
13. Play tetris instead of doing homework.
14. Make jokes.
15. Don’t listen to directions or instruction.
16. Apply for as many credit cards as possible, its free money!
17. Walk around with your pockets full of bouncy balls.
18. Jump off your bed.
19. Go to the store and buy as many packs of gum as possible.
20. Hang out with kids and animals, they sure know how to clown around!

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Ideas: Video Games

Here's a new idea: Video games.

We like 'em.

Monday, April 20, 2009

Ideas: WWJD?

Well, a new idea has come to our attention lately. We don’t see too many people sporting WWJD bracelets these days, and we want to know why this disturbing new trend is. A few years ago, it seemed pretty cool to ponder the question, “What would Jesus do?”, a hypothetical inquiry made apparent by the flashy, multi-colored wrist band seen on wrists around the country. The implication of this recent trend in abandoning WWJD bracelets seems to say that our colleagues, peers, mentors, and anyone else not wearing WWJD bracelets don’t really care what Jesus would do if he were living a contemporary earthly life. We, Chris and Kyle, have decided to buck this trendy apathetic attitude toward such a weighty rhetorical question and show what Jesus would do.

1. Visit Mount Rushmore and various other national monuments
2. Go to a Sigur Ros concert and tell everyone, “You’re welcome.”
3. Wear sweet sunshades
4. Play in the school band
5. Ride a fixed gear bike
6. He would build it, and they would come.
7. Go back in time and write the screen plays for Titanic, The Dark Knight, and Star Wars 4
8. Wash Peter Classen’s feet
9. Eat Happy Meals every meal
10. Go see Jesus Christ Superstar and leave halfway through
11. Sneak his way into the background of every picture ever taken
12. Get more followers than Ashton Kutcher on Twitter
13. Watch Scrubs
14. Wear NBA jerseys
15. Time travel back to the 90’s
16. Color
17. Wear Hawaiian shirts
18. Tape Americas Funniest Home Videos over his parents’ wedding vows
19. Speed date on a regular basis
20. Hit the Bingo halls HARD
21. 20 push ups in a minute
22. Play Secondlife
23. ITEP
24. Drink Vess Grape Drink
25. Stay up till 4 A.M. every night
26. Be chapel probation
27. Subscribe to Good Housekeeping
28. Play wally-ball
29. Hang out and lay low
30. Wear socks with sandals
31. Be a man’s man and join the Marines
32. Give E.T. and Alf a place to stay
33. Watch The Passion. Twice.
34. Wake up to the movie Good Burger and fall asleep to The Mighty Ducks
35. DJ his friends’ parties
36. Win
37. Listen to the Beach Boys
38. Read The Da Vinci Code and enjoy it
39. Maintain at least 65 blogs, 34 myspace profiles, and a 3.00 GPA
40. Live off campus
41. Go to the Science center
42. Sport a bowl-cut
43. Rake the leaves off the trees
44. Never learn to read or write
45. Wear red, white and blue American apparel
46. Wear his hat backwards
47. Leave the lights on all day
48. Collect vinyl records
49. Skateboard
50. Eat
51. Win Survivor
52. Avoid technology
53. Go on talk shows
54. Burn his trash
55. The dishes
56. Sun-tan
57. Be ten minutes early
58. Sit on porches
59. Hum to himself
60. Stock market
61. Collect bottle caps
62. Paint the town red
63. Travel to space
64. Cook a steak and two mashed potatoes
65. My dogs will look at you for the longest time…
66. Tell secrets
67. Drive a big truck with naked lady mudflaps
68. Make people laugh
69. Mow the yard
70. Read Charles Sheldon’s In His Steps and ask himself how it applies to his choices
71. Hold a book signing
72. Teleport

We think this constitutes a pretty full list of things that Jesus would do.

Sunday, April 19, 2009


Here’s a new idea: VHSs are the best thing in the world.

Each year, new innovations and advances in technology inevitably come and we can’t help but notice that people are trying too hard to move forward, even at the expense of everything we, Chris and Kyle, hold dear, not the least of which is watching movies. We are tired of it. DVDs, Blu-Rays, computer movies, projector reels, wires, plugs, HD stuff—what happened to the good old days of just putting in a movie and hitting play? We want to go back to those simpler days of movie watching that required no thought, intelligence, or technological savvy. We just want to watch movies, not think about complicated stuff like technology! And don’t even get us started on the complicated movies. If you have to read the words at the bottom of the screen, it’s not a movie, it’s a book. If we don’t want to think about technology, we sure as heck don’t want to think about reading the words or figuring out complicated plotlines!
Without a doubt, VHS videocassettes provide an alternative to the complicated, technology-filled, boring experience of watching movies of today. If we wanted to be that bored, we’d probably just sit around and talk to each other. But we don’t want to do that, we want to watch movies! So it all comes full circle to VHS videocassettes. At almost any thrift store or yard sale, you can find cheap, entertaining VHSs and VCRs that require little or no thought to use or watch. Even better, most VHSs you find are kids movies or star Jim Carrey! Alright! Where else will you find the most epic movie quotes to date? “This house is so full of people, it MAKES ME SICK. When I grow up and get married, I’M LIVING ALONE!” – Kevin, Home Alone. “I am feeling very Olympic today!” – Sanca, Cool Runnings. “You wouldn’t believe it if I told you, but I could run like the wind blows.” – Forrest, Forrest Gump.
VHS videocassettes are the best movie watching experience of all time, hands down. We recommend one and all of the following VHS videocassettes that we have in our collection:

The Sandlot
Dirty Work (courtesy of Ben Helman)
Forrest Gump
Homeward Bound
Encino Man
Wayne’s World
Jurassic Park
Major Payne
The Nutty Professor
The Stupids
The Patriot
Tommy Boy
Strange Brew
Son in Law
Dumb and Dumber
Mission Impossible 2
Top Gun
Field of Dreams
Apollo 13
The Mighty Ducks
Ace Ventura
3 Ninjas
Home Alone
Home Alone 2
That Thing You Do
The Mask
Snow Day
Good Burger
The Princess Bride
Rookie of the Year
Cool Runnings
Indiana Jones

Saturday, April 18, 2009

Quick ways to make money with Chris and Kyle

1. Rob people
2. Sell movies
3. Yard sales
4. Collect bottles and cans and redeem money
5. Swim in mall fountains and collect change (we recommend this because it combines two fun activities!)
6. Go to the local school and steal kids' lunch money
7. Kidnap a rich guy and hold him for hostage money
8. Win the nobel prize
9. Time travel and buy google's stocks
10. Get a job
11. Marry a rich person
12. Sell novelity items on e-bay
13. Become a con-man/woman
14. Get a job and find a way to get hurt so you get worker's comp.
15. Sell any extra body parts you don't need
16. Compromise US secrets for money
17. Re-sell girl scout cookies
18. Rob a bank/casino
19. Win America's Funniest Home videos
20. Stand at intersections with a bucket for donations and punch people's cars that don't give you any money
21. Buy a dog
22. Become a lawyer who does wills and insert your name for all the good stuff
23. Become a glasses salesperson
24. Give haircuts for money
25. Pickpocket
26. Learn to beatbox and perform live
27. Beg
28. Visit many websites each day
29. Bet on Michael Jordan winning
30. Become fake security guards and steal everything
31. Go to church and steal from the offering plate
32. Deal drugs
33. Fraud
34. Get adopted by rich parents
35. Hold up a train
36. Find a golden ticket
37. Treasure hunting
38. Start a new social networking site
39. Become good at sports and win them
40. Change your name to a rich person and steal their checks and cash them
41. Pretend to be a toll-booth person
42. Start a generic rap or hip-hop group
43. Win the lottery
44. Not pay taxes
45. Find Bin Laden
46. Where's Waldo
47. Create fake tours to Guatemala hot springs
48. Student loans
49. Scooters
50. Start a new holiday
51. Gold rush
52. Join Van Halen
53. Tell people you know how to do tattoos
54. Win American Idol
55. Win Dancing with the Stars
56. Win Survivor
57. Win Deal or No Deal
58. Win Who Wants to be a Millionaire
59. Win Wheel of Fortune
60. Win Family Feud
61. Win a war
62. Win Jeopardy
63. Win The Price is Right
64. Win Miss America
65. Win America's Got Talent
66. Win a raffle
67. Win a jet skis
68. Winnebago
69. Moonshine business
70. Find Amelia Earhart
71. Write a memoir
72. Fill vodka bottles with water and sell them
73. Tell people your car is a taxi when you give them a ride
74. Take tips at restaurants
75. Breed hybrid animals
76. Clone Donald Trump
77. Invent something
78. Patent new words
79. Find a blank check
80. Stocks
81. Start a pyramid scheme
82. Dress up like a movie star and require money for autographs
83. Check every vending machine for change
84. Mario Cart
85. Become a youtube sensation
86. Go to Japan
87. Plant a money tree
88. Make a porno
89. Become papparazi
90. Find cures for diseases
91. Sell Newsboys merch at Agape festivals
92. Sell your friends' stuff to pawn shops
93. Pretend to be a doctor
94. Pretend you died and collect life insurance
95. Start a 401k
96. Invest
97. Study economics
98. Come up with fashion designs for Abercrombie and Fitch
99. Wittle canes for old people
100. Become a televangalist