Well, a new idea has come to our attention lately. We don’t see too many people sporting WWJD bracelets these days, and we want to know why this disturbing new trend is. A few years ago, it seemed pretty cool to ponder the question, “What would Jesus do?”, a hypothetical inquiry made apparent by the flashy, multi-colored wrist band seen on wrists around the country. The implication of this recent trend in abandoning WWJD bracelets seems to say that our colleagues, peers, mentors, and anyone else not wearing WWJD bracelets don’t really care what Jesus would do if he were living a contemporary earthly life. We, Chris and Kyle, have decided to buck this trendy apathetic attitude toward such a weighty rhetorical question and show what Jesus would do.
1. Visit Mount Rushmore and various other national monuments
2. Go to a Sigur Ros concert and tell everyone, “You’re welcome.”
3. Wear sweet sunshades
4. Play in the school band
5. Ride a fixed gear bike
6. He would build it, and they would come.
7. Go back in time and write the screen plays for Titanic, The Dark Knight, and Star Wars 4
8. Wash Peter Classen’s feet
9. Eat Happy Meals every meal
10. Go see Jesus Christ Superstar and leave halfway through
11. Sneak his way into the background of every picture ever taken
12. Get more followers than Ashton Kutcher on Twitter
13. Watch Scrubs
14. Wear NBA jerseys
15. Time travel back to the 90’s
16. Color
17. Wear Hawaiian shirts
18. Tape Americas Funniest Home Videos over his parents’ wedding vows
19. Speed date on a regular basis
20. Hit the Bingo halls HARD
21. 20 push ups in a minute
22. Play Secondlife
23. ITEP
24. Drink Vess Grape Drink
25. Stay up till 4 A.M. every night
26. Be chapel probation
27. Subscribe to Good Housekeeping
28. Play wally-ball
29. Hang out and lay low
30. Wear socks with sandals
31. Be a man’s man and join the Marines
32. Give E.T. and Alf a place to stay
33. Watch The Passion. Twice.
34. Wake up to the movie Good Burger and fall asleep to The Mighty Ducks
35. DJ his friends’ parties
36. Win
37. Listen to the Beach Boys
38. Read The Da Vinci Code and enjoy it
39. Maintain at least 65 blogs, 34 myspace profiles, and a 3.00 GPA
40. Live off campus
41. Go to the Science center
42. Sport a bowl-cut
43. Rake the leaves off the trees
44. Never learn to read or write
45. Wear red, white and blue American apparel
46. Wear his hat backwards
47. Leave the lights on all day
48. Collect vinyl records
49. Skateboard
50. Eat
51. Win Survivor
52. Avoid technology
53. Go on talk shows
54. Burn his trash
55. The dishes
56. Sun-tan
57. Be ten minutes early
58. Sit on porches
59. Hum to himself
60. Stock market
61. Collect bottle caps
62. Paint the town red
63. Travel to space
64. Cook a steak and two mashed potatoes
65. My dogs will look at you for the longest time…
66. Tell secrets
67. Drive a big truck with naked lady mudflaps
68. Make people laugh
69. Mow the yard
70. Read Charles Sheldon’s In His Steps and ask himself how it applies to his choices
71. Hold a book signing
72. Teleport
We think this constitutes a pretty full list of things that Jesus would do.
Monday, April 20, 2009
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